The fear of Failure
por Elisabeth Cavalcante em STUM WORLDAtualizado em 01/09/2004 19:44:51
Translated by Luciana Soares
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One of the main mental blocks to the human being's personal fulfillment is the fear of failure. This fear, that usually has its origin in childhood and in a life story with many requirements and little or no encouragement, lies behind a feeling of frustration and unhappiness.
All of us wish to achieve success and fulfillment. But if we don't have the necessary self-confidence and the certainty that we have the internal resources to realize whatever we want, we will get nothing.
While the fear of failure and of error persists, we will remain paralyzed and we'll let escape any chance of happiness life may give us. Failure is a natural element of life. The problem is that people who didn't have their self-confidence developed quite early in life, start to demand from themselves a level of perfection impossible to achieve. In effect, to these people failure turns into a mark which erases any memory of success they may possibly had.
The adventure of living includes both realizing our projects and failing at some attempts. People who boast they never faced failure or made a mistake in life are unaware or need self-affirmation. And, quite probably, they hide behind this attitude a feeling of insecurity they try to disguise by boasting themselves.
Love frustrations and relationships that ended badly usually leave deep scars in most people, who start to "fear" a new relationship believing they won't be able to stand another failure.
To break this cycle of fear and paralysis, we must feed our self-confidence and self-esteem, thinking seriously about our qualities and remembering the successful experiences, even if they are over. It's always possible to re-edit the success in new attempts.
Listen to your heart.
...Listen to it very carefully, very consciously and you will never make a mistake. And, by listening to your heart, you'll start to follow the right direction, without even thinking of what's right or wrong.
And follow it, wherever it takes you. Yes, sometimes it will leave you face to face with danger - but, remember, this danger is necessary for you to grow. Other times, it will make you go astray - but, remember once again, to get the wrong way is part of your growth. Many times you'll fall and get up again, because this is how you gather forces, falling and standing up again. This is how we stay whole...
... But don't follow rules forced by the external world. Never emulate, be always original. Don't turn yourself into a copy. However, this is what's happening with everyone - copies and copies. Buda is Buda, Krishna is Krishna, and you are you. And you are not, no way, less than anyone else. Respect yourself, respect your internal voice and follow it.
Remember that I'm not guaranteeing you that this voice will always lead you to the right place. Many times it will take you to the wrong side, because to find the right door, first it is necessary to knock at many wrong ones.
This is how things are. If you suddenly meet the right door, you won't be able to know if it is the right one. Therefore, remember that, eventually, no struggle is ever lost; every struggle contributes to the success of your growth.
Therefore, don't hesitate; don't worry so much when you make a mistake. This is a problem: people are taught to never do something wrong, and then they hesitate; they are so fearful, so scared with the possibility of doing something wrong that they get stuck. They can't move, something might go wrong. So, they go on like stones, they lose all their movements. Make as many mistakes as possible; just remember not to make the same mistake twice and you certainly will be growing.
(Osho).
