Does your opinion help out or mess up?
Autor Cristina Longhi
Assunto Corpo e MenteAtualizado em 2/20/2013 4:47:46 PM
Fatal consequences of support lack
Many people willing to help surprisingly end up messing up things. Why does it happen? How to give assistance instead of making it difficult?
When we love someone we want anyhow to avoid their aching, we want to help and do things for them, and we want to prevent them from suffering. This is a valid and natural sense of protection, but usually when someone tells you a problem, they want your support, not your opinion. And as you are eager to help, you may end up being too tough in telling what the person should or not do and all this toughness may sound more as rejection than aid.
Special attention should be paid when it comes to couples, because the mate just want to be sure youre there and he or she can count on you. Its no time for pointing out possibilities or you may cause your partner to back off.
Why does it happen this way? Because at this point your opinion is taken emotionally, not intellectually. If someone tells you something and youre probably the only one to be told that, you should only listen and show your support. Give an opinion only if asked.
Think of when you had to take important decisions and decided to share it with someone else, and instead of being supported you got opinions. Probably it didnt feel good, did it? Its because everyone has their personal values and reasons towards the shared issue, and if different opinion comes from a loved one, its interpreted as rejection.
So what should you do if you can clearly see the person is wrong? Just listen passive and carefully. Then you should ask questions to help the person understand the reasons for that, but dont answer those question, let the answers come along. The reasons why someone takes a decision are so personal that anyone whos not in those shoes will effectively get to understand them.
So be careful with your opinion!
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Sou Terapeuta, Programadora Neurolinguista, Escritora e Comunicadora da Rádio Mundial. Atuo como terapeuta nas questões relacionadas a baixa estima, medos, ansiedades, traumas e questões relacionadas a relacionamentos no geral. Atendo adultos, adolescentes, casais e crianças. Autora do livro Anjos e Mentores, Lei da Atração para Crianças e outros. E-mail: [email protected] | Mais artigos. Saiba mais sobre você! Descubra sobre Corpo e Mente clicando aqui. |
